Friend’s Escapades: Snooping in the Phone

During one of our “Girl’s Day Out” the topic of “Going through your boyfriend phone” came up. This is always a touchy subject because some of us is for going through the phone and the others aren’t so keen on snooping.

So, Jess said the other night she and Ralph were sitting on the sofa.  He got up to go in the bathroom and she did the ultimate betrayal to their relationship. She opened his phone, after watching him put in his passcode several times.  She said the found text messages from some friends and a couple of females. One particular female was asking about getting together.  She wasn’t sure if half of the conversation was deleted but she said it did not make sense.  It was like she was asking questions and he wouldn’t respond with an appropriate answer.  She said the female was an ex of his. She said the conversation went something like this when she confronted him about it.

Love Spats: Share & Share Alike

After chatting with Jess about her new beau, I began to think about how much women share feelings, concerns and problems with others, especially our men.  On the other hand, men aren’t so open to sharing; hmm! 

All of this came about when Jess was telling me about her concerns.  She expressed that her beau told her that he had a lot going on and he would talk to her about it.  A few days passed and he still had not shared one single thing with her, except to tell her that it has nothing to do with the two of them.  She started to reconsider continuing her journey with this guy.  She said that if he can’t trust her enough to share what is going on with him then there is no need to be in a relationship with this person.

Friend's Escapades: A Cold Disappearance

A few days ago, during my time of writing my tell all blog entry about the relationship the changed my life (coming very soon), one of my girlfriends called to have girlfriend talk; I have her permission to share this with you.  She told me that she was finished and done with her Boo.  I was a little set back because she had meet him about a month ago and she was all gung ho about him. So of course I had to ask her for details.  She opened up the flood gates and went to sharing. 

She met this guy on Facebook and they started texting and messaging from that point on. He is her fraternal brother so of course she knew she had snagged a potential partner. He was on her level.

She went on to say they meet up one weekend and she had a blast with him. He even went so far as to introduce her to his parents and other family members; sounds great, doesn’t it?  They bonded like a true couple. The conversations had turned into spending more time together.  They even scheduled weekend getaways in the near future.  Things were looking up until he got the “crumb cake”.

First Hand Knowledge of a Player

The other night, EP and I were partaking in some fun at Dave and Busters.  When this nice couple walks up to the bar and have a sit next to us.  I turned and noticed that the girl was a beautiful girl and the guy was good looking as well. 

After a drink, the girl ask her Boo for a couple of dollars to go play some games. He handed her the money. Before she could walked off, he leaned over, kissed her and told her he loves her; aww so sweet!

Now hold on, because this is where I lost all respect for this guy.  He turns around to locate where she went.  When he spotted her, he turned back around, picked up his phone and began to text a chick.  I know you are asking how I know this.  Well, he placed his phone next to me on the bar.  His phone lit up and a chick’s name appeared.  Apparently, he must have told her that she was “just a friend”, because her name appeared when the messages came through.  Anyhoo, he would text this girl then turn around to see if his girl was in the same place. This went on for about fifteen minutes.   

Love Spats: Men and the Remote Control

My coworker and I were asking each other if we had watch our shows, Dallas and Kim & Kourtney Takes Miami (KKTM).  I told her that I was able to watch some of Dallas but did get a chance to catch up on all of the episodes of KKTM. She then told me she had missed them because her beau was pouting because he wasn’t getting enough attention. 

She went on to tell me that they are constantly fighting over the remote.  She said he even clutches it in a death grip when he is asleep. I laughed for a second and realized that EP does the same.

I began to enlighten her on my tug-a-war with EP and the remote.  I told her that I get to watch Sports Center or any other sports stations when we are together. If I try and go in the other room, then he pouts.  I usually have to go digging for the remote when he falls asleep.  But he fixed that by turning the TV off before he goes to sleep.  

Family Mixer: His Family Meet Up

Well the time finally presented itself for the tables to turn on me meeting his family.  The meet and greet time was set during my Atlanta bound trip over the Valentine’s weekend.  We would be joining his parents for dinner.  

EP explained that his mom is similar to mine.  She is also a no-nonsense type of lady, too.  She will say upfront if she doesn’t like a person and make his relationship hard.  I was talking ‘crap’ about EP meeting my family, but now the shoe is on the other foot; freaking out over here!

I have spoken and texted Mother EP on several occasions.  However, EP had me so nervous to meet the lady that I was close to backing out of going altogether. Then, I had to tell myself, he met your family now you have to put on your big girl panties and meet his.  He also planned to include his daughter in the mix.  He said it was time for us to meet.  We will have to pick up his daughter at her mother’s house. Not only will I be meeting his parents; but I will meet his daughter and her mother, as well; oh me oh my! Now my nerves are really out of whack.

Family Mixer: Meeting The Family

It's been several months since EP started swimming in that uncharted river so; he is scheduled to fly back for a visit soon.  What will be different about this trip is, he will meet my family.   Yes, I am almost ready to say I have a boyfriend (manfriend) but; that family approval is needed first!  

Being that I have been married, and through other break ups, my family isn’t accepting of men, anymore.  Sometimes I understand their position on this, because my last boyfriend was really involved with my family.  Therefore, I wasn’t the only person that had broken feelings because that relationship didn’t work.  After, that break up, they were like, “don’t bring anyone else around us!”  But here I am again; about to do what they asked me not to do; chuckle! 

Uncharted Territory: The Discussion

EP and I were chatting about what he wanted. He said he would love to come home with me opening the door saying, "Good morning Honey!" and he would reply,  "Good morning Honeybun!"  Basically he was saying that he would love for us to live together.  So we begin to have a huge discussion about moving!

I asked him would he move to where I am.  He said that he would love to move here but he prefers to stay closer to his daughter.  He then told me that it would be hard for me to move because my children are grounded here.  He said he would prefer me to move there so we could get a place together.

This discussion made me start thinking about how strong does a long distance relationship have to be and how long can it last?  I have to reiterate that he said again, that he isn’t scared of being in a long distance relationship and he is willing to make it work.  However, will we be able to maintain a serious relationship being so far apart? 

Drifting: A Divided Couple

I have never considered being in a relationship where the guy and I didn’t agree on mutual college, NFL or NBA teams, until now.   We don’t share any teams in common. This brings disagreement on Thursday, when we do football picks for college and pro teams.  

Being that he lives in a different state, he follows all of his state's teams.  Not to mention that his state’s NFL team (Dirty Birds, Falcons) is a long-time rival for my state’s (Saints) team.  We are truly a divided couple and I foresee this as being a huge problem for us! We shall see! 

It isn’t just football; it is basketball too.  I am a true Lakers fan and he LOVES the Hawks.  I am really happy they don’t have to play each other, but there is a lot of crap talking about each other’s favorite teams!  He does want me to go to a Hawks vs. Heat game!   I will need some serious meds before I attend this game, because  I totally dislike the Heat!  

Love Lost: Closing a Chapter

Recently, I closed a major chapter in my life.  I finally realized that the guy I loved and slightly waited for, for some time now, wasn’t going to be by my side as Mr. Jeigh.  I didn’t do the letting go and if he comes back to me, then it is meant to be; routine.  I just decided it was time and walked away.  

I truly believe that all the relationships that followed this relationship were all sabotaged because of my holding on.  With each preliminary round of hopefuls, they didn’t compare to CC or to what I believed I wanted in a relationship.  I have grasped that I have compared every other guy to him and it was truly unfair to these guys and relationships, yes it was all my fault!

Adventure: Mr. Excellent Potential

A few months ago, I began conversing with a guy that turned out to be someone I am really digging.  He has excellent potential to be Mr. Jeigh, yes, I think I have found him!   He is on my level.  He meets all of the standards that are listed on my Beau Material Checklist.

I met Mr. Excellent Potential (EP) in a social setting on one of my getaways.  When I first saw him, his appearance captivated me.   Of course, I could not be myself, if I didn’t find something I didn’t like about him!  I noticed that he was wearing tennis shoes in this fine establishment, hey what can I say, I like a man in a suit!   My sister said, “Oh girl, see passed that stuff and get to know him”.   So, Jeigh went to work, bumping into him purposely and to my surprise he bumped back, cha -ching!  

Dating My Television

With some new and old television shows on air, I have found myself being attracted to my television, lately.  I rush home to cook (depending on the mood) work out, then I am either on the sofa or in my comfy bed lusting after my new lover.  Everyday “he” draws me in by displaying shows that makes me happy.  It all starts with;

Sundays

My Lover starts my week off with True Blood, Empire Girls, Drop Dead Diva and Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Empire Girls is my newly added reality show.  It is about Adrienne Bailon from the Cheetah Girls and her best friend Julissa Bermudez from 106^th & Park.  This show doesn’t seem like it is scripted at all unlike the Kardashians’ show.  In return, it reminds me of how my friends and I get down, very relatable.  It airs on the Style network.  Check out the details: http://www.mystyle.com/tv-shows/empire-girls/ 

Next, Drop Dead Diva is about a beautiful diva that dropped dead and came back to life as a voluptuous attorney that is hard core.  Oh trust me she is divatized.  It is a humors show you will definitely add to your Sundays. Check it out: http://www.mylifetime.com/shows/drop-dead-diva

When an Ex-Boyfriend Calls

My ex-boyfriend called me recently and wanted to catch up.  We remained friends and he checks in on me from time to time.  The conversation started off as usual, how are the kids? How am I doing?  How's the family and what have I been up to?  And of course, he asked that nosy question “am I dating anyone”.  When I said that I wasn’t dating anyone, that’s when the chat became a bit unusual.  

He shifted the conversation towards he and I possibly getting something started again, OMG, really?  That shocked me! We broke up over four years ago and we both have moved forth. As well as (not to put him on blast) the Dude is in a relationship with someone, can I say CHEATER!!   We ended our relationship because he was seeing someone else while we were together.  Mercy, this was one of the relationships that made me want to regroup and think about being in another relationship.  I discussed it in “Why Am I Single”. 

Men’s Famous Breakup Lines

Oh yes, I am going there. I am doing this because we as women don’t want to see the “big picture” when men tell us their version of what they want or don’t want. Sometimes we really don’t understand what their “lines” mean. So I am taking the time out to define all of the lines that I have witness or was told by other females.

1. The “I need some time to find myself or I need space." line. If this is the line that is fed to you, please know that he is telling you that you need to go out and do whatever you want, because he is. Don’t wait around for him to come back. Give him all the SPACE in the world. Don’t call, text, email! Don’t even do the famous “surprise” run into him. Begin moving on!

2. The classic "It's Not You - It's Me” line. This is one is my favorites!!! Ugh, I think we all have heard this one. What he is saying is “It is you, it’s not him! This is his chicken crap way of letting you down easy. He wants something other than being in a relationship with you and he will place the blame on himself so it doesn’t impact you that hard. 

Should You Date a “True” Friend?

A question was asked recently regarding would you date or enter into a relationship with a “true” friend? I can honestly say that I have never dated a “true” friend. I have been in relationships with people who eventually became a friend. I believe that there are good and bad points about dating a “true” friend.

I perceive that the good points are: what better person to fall in love with than the one who knows you BEST? They don’t judge you for who you are. This is the person that you know without hesitation you can depend on. You will enjoy most of the same things and there is probably little to no room for disagreement. They have those remarkable words of encouragement. They give you that feeling of security. You trust them whole heartily. This is the person that shares the same common interests, morals, and values. You know without a doubt that they will not back down during the toughest times! All of these points are usually the foundation of a good relationship.

Beau Material

 

Urban Dictionary defines relationship (BEAU) material as: A status bestowed from one individual upon another exemplifying satisfaction anticipated from maintaining a relationship with that individual. This evaluation is highly subjective and typically reflects a great deal of personal preference.

So basically, “Beau Material” is a set of standards that a person looks for in their mate. It’s a detailed checklist or set of guidelines that are set forth.  My perspective of what a picture-perfect Boyfriend “Beau Material” should be is: 

Should Woman Be Submissive To Their Partners

On a date, I was chatting with a male friend and we got on the subject of women should be submissive to their partners.  He suggests that women should let the man know their whereabouts at all time.  Check in, ask permission for things and ask before making any decisions on anything.  Women are supposed to do everything a man says to do without question. Of course the old saying came flying out of his mouth "Do As I Say....Not As I Do!