Love Lost: The Relationship That Changed Me

Sebastian came into my life when I was not expecting to meet a man.  I truly believed in fate and that there is someone for everyone.  I also believed that I had found that in Sebastian.  He was definitely my soul mate.  I could share things with him and not be judged. He would listen and show concern when I told him what was on my mind.  He could even recall what I had told him at a later time; a memory like an elephant!  He was a wonderful person who brightened my life.  I wanted to share everything I had with him.  I was willing to make all of his pain, stress and suffering go away.  I did not want to expect anything or be on a different level with him.  I knew that I really cared for Sebastian.  He would tell me that he loved and wanted to be with me as well.  When we were together, I felt that I was very important to him.  I must tell you that I was truly happy, emotionally and physically with Sebastian. The more time that we would spend together; the more time I wanted to spend with him. 

After our relationship was in full swing, Sebastian would disappear. What I mean is, when I would call him, he would not return my calls for hours or even days.  Hell, I may not hear from him for weeks    I would send text messages and would receive no responses.  When he called or texted, his excuse always had something to do with work. 

When Sebastian did return my calls, he would tell me that he was still fully vested in our relationship.  He told me worry when he would tell me that it was over.   He never understood how his disappearing acts bothered me.  You know my dumb, green, blinded by love ass, believed him and keep the faith in our relationship.

Sidebar: Stalker Alert

Recently, it was brought to my attention that I am being cyber-stalked.  This person has been following all of my social media involvement.  The funny thing is he isn’t on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram; well, to my knowledge!  Therefore, I am not really sure how he is getting his information about me, giggling as I type.

 “Oh sorry, let me let you in on who it is…It is my ex-boyfriend.  He is harmless and I am not in any immediate danger!”  

I have an idea, but not completely certain,this is the way he is finding out my whereabouts; you little sneaky devil.  He knows some very key things that are going on with me and has expressed some concern about them.  I guess I still run across his mind or he is missing what we had; ahem!  

Year In Review

It has been a year since I started transferring my thoughts from paper to this blog. This blog has been my outlet!  A piece of me that I wanted to share and a place that has helped me understand that I too, am a mess!   I have shared my dates, adventures, and my journeys within my single life. 

Let’s recap:

• I have pondered over recycling my ex and getting that phone call from an ex asking to rekindle the old flame.
• Exes
• I went on several dates. One alone, perfect dates and some that made me want to quit searching for Mr. Jeigh altogether!  However, they made me realize what I am willing to accept and not tolerate!
• Dating
• I have shared closing a major chapter in my life and realizing that I pushed a person away because I didn’t know what I wanted.
• Love Lost

Living Single: Single & Totally Alone

Have you ever been single and been totally alone?  Well, that happened to me recently.  With my son being away in college and the other kids having fun with grandma, I spent some time completely alone.  There was no male companion blowing up my phone or asking to spend time with me. Along with no children asking to go places or asking to use the car. It was just me, myself and I lounging around the house with different thoughts rolling around in my head.

One of my thoughts was to get out of the house and go places.  There is a huge problem with this thought because I am female and by being female, going out alone isn’t safe.  I know some may do it, but this girl ISN’T!  I don’t have many girlfriends and plus the ones I do have are booed up.  Therefore, I know they wouldn’t want to hit the dating scene with me. So, that makes me resort back to finding things to do at home. 

When an Ex-Boyfriend Calls

My ex-boyfriend called me recently and wanted to catch up.  We remained friends and he checks in on me from time to time.  The conversation started off as usual, how are the kids? How am I doing?  How's the family and what have I been up to?  And of course, he asked that nosy question “am I dating anyone”.  When I said that I wasn’t dating anyone, that’s when the chat became a bit unusual.  

He shifted the conversation towards he and I possibly getting something started again, OMG, really?  That shocked me! We broke up over four years ago and we both have moved forth. As well as (not to put him on blast) the Dude is in a relationship with someone, can I say CHEATER!!   We ended our relationship because he was seeing someone else while we were together.  Mercy, this was one of the relationships that made me want to regroup and think about being in another relationship.  I discussed it in “Why Am I Single”. 

Considering Recycling An Ex?

Typically people recycle clothes, shoes and plastic, why would anyone consider recycling a boyfriend?

First, I think one must determine the reason they decided to throw in the towel. Are they recycling the ex because they know their quirks, they were good looking, had a great job, had the assets, they were the one they dreamed of being married to and having those three kids?