Dating: Made For TV!

If this post do not blow your mind, something is wrong. As I am sitting here typing, I am still trying to wrap my head around it as well as still asking myself, “did this really happen”.  This situation was the scariest, unreal, and craziest shit I have ever been in or witnessed. Hold on to this unbelievable ride, it is about to get bumpy.

Shane and I made plans for me to visit him while he was working in a different city.  He was about an hour away and I have made this trip before.  I knew it was not a bad ride and It would not take long to get to him. I told him that I would leave in an hour because I wanted to avoid as much traffic as I possible could. 

When I got to the hotel, I text him and he said he was starving so he went to get something for us to eat.  I said that was not a problem, I would run to Target to get a few things.  Fifteen minutes later, he called and said he had made it back to the room and he left the door cracked.  I finished looking around and headed back to the hotel.

Love Lost: The Relationship That Changed Me

Sebastian came into my life when I was not expecting to meet a man.  I truly believed in fate and that there is someone for everyone.  I also believed that I had found that in Sebastian.  He was definitely my soul mate.  I could share things with him and not be judged. He would listen and show concern when I told him what was on my mind.  He could even recall what I had told him at a later time; a memory like an elephant!  He was a wonderful person who brightened my life.  I wanted to share everything I had with him.  I was willing to make all of his pain, stress and suffering go away.  I did not want to expect anything or be on a different level with him.  I knew that I really cared for Sebastian.  He would tell me that he loved and wanted to be with me as well.  When we were together, I felt that I was very important to him.  I must tell you that I was truly happy, emotionally and physically with Sebastian. The more time that we would spend together; the more time I wanted to spend with him. 

After our relationship was in full swing, Sebastian would disappear. What I mean is, when I would call him, he would not return my calls for hours or even days.  Hell, I may not hear from him for weeks    I would send text messages and would receive no responses.  When he called or texted, his excuse always had something to do with work. 

When Sebastian did return my calls, he would tell me that he was still fully vested in our relationship.  He told me worry when he would tell me that it was over.   He never understood how his disappearing acts bothered me.  You know my dumb, green, blinded by love ass, believed him and keep the faith in our relationship.

Love Lost: Closing a Chapter

Recently, I closed a major chapter in my life.  I finally realized that the guy I loved and slightly waited for, for some time now, wasn’t going to be by my side as Mr. Jeigh.  I didn’t do the letting go and if he comes back to me, then it is meant to be; routine.  I just decided it was time and walked away.  

I truly believe that all the relationships that followed this relationship were all sabotaged because of my holding on.  With each preliminary round of hopefuls, they didn’t compare to CC or to what I believed I wanted in a relationship.  I have grasped that I have compared every other guy to him and it was truly unfair to these guys and relationships, yes it was all my fault!

Love Lost: Saying Farewell

A few days ago, I said farewell to a close friend.  He had been there for me when no one else was able to.  He has helped me in ways that I can't even explain to you.  I will never have the chance to return the favor.  He was my Superman, Friend and Confidant all in one.  When he was around, I felt safe and secure. 

The farewell came because I messed up; yes I am admitting that I messed things up.  I thought I needed more from him. When in actuality he was giving me everything I was looking for in others and on the dating sites.  All he wanted to do was make me happy, I missed that boat big time.  I did not realize that at the time.  I understand now why I pushed him away. It is because; I just didn’t know what I wanted.  To be honest, I was afraid to give my heart away, to only get it back smashed, crushed or even broken.

When an Ex-Boyfriend Calls

My ex-boyfriend called me recently and wanted to catch up.  We remained friends and he checks in on me from time to time.  The conversation started off as usual, how are the kids? How am I doing?  How's the family and what have I been up to?  And of course, he asked that nosy question “am I dating anyone”.  When I said that I wasn’t dating anyone, that’s when the chat became a bit unusual.  

He shifted the conversation towards he and I possibly getting something started again, OMG, really?  That shocked me! We broke up over four years ago and we both have moved forth. As well as (not to put him on blast) the Dude is in a relationship with someone, can I say CHEATER!!   We ended our relationship because he was seeing someone else while we were together.  Mercy, this was one of the relationships that made me want to regroup and think about being in another relationship.  I discussed it in “Why Am I Single”. 

Men’s Famous Breakup Lines

Oh yes, I am going there. I am doing this because we as women don’t want to see the “big picture” when men tell us their version of what they want or don’t want. Sometimes we really don’t understand what their “lines” mean. So I am taking the time out to define all of the lines that I have witness or was told by other females.

1. The “I need some time to find myself or I need space." line. If this is the line that is fed to you, please know that he is telling you that you need to go out and do whatever you want, because he is. Don’t wait around for him to come back. Give him all the SPACE in the world. Don’t call, text, email! Don’t even do the famous “surprise” run into him. Begin moving on!

2. The classic "It's Not You - It's Me” line. This is one is my favorites!!! Ugh, I think we all have heard this one. What he is saying is “It is you, it’s not him! This is his chicken crap way of letting you down easy. He wants something other than being in a relationship with you and he will place the blame on himself so it doesn’t impact you that hard.