Parenting: The Promise Ring

On my way into work today, KB and I had a different kind of discussion.  We usually have a heart to heart talks, but I wasn’t ready for this talk.  He asked me, “Mommie what would you say if I gave Syd a promise ring?” I had to gaze out of the window and catch my breath for a second before I replied, “WHAT, like promise to marry? He shook his head and said, “I think so.”  Trying to lighten the situation, I said, “You can get one out of the bubble gum machine.”  I then told him, “Maybe you could give her the one your dad gave me when I was in high school.” We both chuckled and I quickly changed the conversation.

 

When I got to my desk, my mind started racing.  Reasons being, I have an unsettling feeling about this particular girl and is my son really ready to promise marriage to “one” girl right now? 

KB has been dating this girl off and on for two years.  When he left to go to college in AZ, she broke it off because of distance.  She told him that she can’t be with someone that is out of her eyesight. He would come home on break and they would get back together for about two months.  He would get back settled in school and they were off again.  Now that he was home this summer taking classes at a local college in preparation to transfer to a college in AL, they are on again.  I have told him my reservations about this chick and her bouncing ways, but who am I to try to give him insight.  I don’t want to say that she sees a “meal-ticket” but that is floating around.

It isn’t just the bouncing behavior, she also wants to isolate him from his family. She don’t come and visit with us but expect him to be at her parent’s house when she says he needs to be there. I have met this girl twice.  I am not sure if he is afraid that I will get to know the girl or if she really don’t want to be around us. We will see because before he gives her a ring, she has to come and sit on my sofa and face me.

The other reason my mind is racing, is because KB just turned twenty-one and he is far from promising to marry, anyone.  He is still chasing his dream of playing professional football and focusing on graduating from college.  Not to mention, he isn’t completely focus on “one” person, if you get what I am saying?

Now, my parenting has to shift gears, to convince KB that he needs to wait until he is completely sure this is what he wants to do.  He shouldn’t be “tied” down right now and continue to enjoy his college years. 

I seriously hope some of you have been through this or have any great advice for this single parent.