My 2013 Goals/Challenges; “New Year’s Resolution”

Everyone starts off the New Year with promises that they try to keep.  I like everyone else, make “false” promises that I will work out, eat healthier, save money and my ultimate favorite is try to stop cursing.  Haven’t we all wrote and heard the same song?  By the time I am settled into the New Year, which could be about three weeks, all my resolutions go flying out of the window.  I fall back into my routine like I had never promised myself I would do these things. 

Therefore, this year 2013, I would like to do something a bit different.  Instead of putting myself on punishment, I want to challenge myself with achieving realistic goals.  Set some goals/challenges that are going to enhance myself as a person, friend, sibling, daughter and parent.

What Does This Single Girl Do at Christmas?

Year after year since my divorce, I have been alone (no guy friend) to spend the Christmas holiday with.  I know you are asking “what about EP?” Well EP has to work and being that we are still trying to see if we want a relationship, I am spending Christmas alone once again.

Last year, I had surgery and was recuperating around the Christmas holiday.  All I could do was sit around on my mom’s green recliner with meds and a soft white pillow that helped ease the pain from the stitches, very painful!   There really was not much of anything I could do.   I could not go to Christmas parties or visit family members.  I was stuck at my mom’s house in that chair!!!!  Not to mention I was not in a relationship with anyone so spending quality time with a “love interest” wasn't in the cards.

Uncharted Territory: The Discussion

EP and I were chatting about what he wanted. He said he would love to come home with me opening the door saying, "Good morning Honey!" and he would reply,  "Good morning Honeybun!"  Basically he was saying that he would love for us to live together.  So we begin to have a huge discussion about moving!

I asked him would he move to where I am.  He said that he would love to move here but he prefers to stay closer to his daughter.  He then told me that it would be hard for me to move because my children are grounded here.  He said he would prefer me to move there so we could get a place together.

This discussion made me start thinking about how strong does a long distance relationship have to be and how long can it last?  I have to reiterate that he said again, that he isn’t scared of being in a long distance relationship and he is willing to make it work.  However, will we be able to maintain a serious relationship being so far apart? 

Drifting: A Divided Couple

I have never considered being in a relationship where the guy and I didn’t agree on mutual college, NFL or NBA teams, until now.   We don’t share any teams in common. This brings disagreement on Thursday, when we do football picks for college and pro teams.  

Being that he lives in a different state, he follows all of his state's teams.  Not to mention that his state’s NFL team (Dirty Birds, Falcons) is a long-time rival for my state’s (Saints) team.  We are truly a divided couple and I foresee this as being a huge problem for us! We shall see! 

It isn’t just football; it is basketball too.  I am a true Lakers fan and he LOVES the Hawks.  I am really happy they don’t have to play each other, but there is a lot of crap talking about each other’s favorite teams!  He does want me to go to a Hawks vs. Heat game!   I will need some serious meds before I attend this game, because  I totally dislike the Heat!  

Work in Progress: Matter of Marriage

I am still digging deeper within myself so I can fix my issues before I venture into the next relationship.  My next issue, that needs attention, is the matter of marriage.

When it comes to marriage, this topic usually is the nail in the coffin!  I have been married before and it was an eye opener for me.  There were good days and of course in any marriage, there were those unbearable days.  Because I have been though a marriage I am hesitant about marrying again; who isn’t, right?  

Going through the divorce to end that marriage, wasn’t like most. We didn’t fight over anything but it was still a low time in my life.  We both knew it was over and time to put our energy elsewhere.  We are better now as friends.  Divorce for anyone can be difficult and it just something that I don’t want to experience again.  Some "love struck" people may say that I will find that RIGHT one and divorce may not be an option, but I am a realist that crap happens.   

Work in Progress: Communication

I know relationships are hard to maintain and you have to put in work for them to be successful.  Therefore, I dug deeper into what else I need to work on before I venture into any other relationships.  

I started with my issue of communication, especially after speaking with a friend lately.  He said that this was one of my major hiccups.   So, let’s take a look at what is going on:

I believe that communication should flow both ways.  However, after all of the games and foolery that I have gone through with others, I have noticed that my communication is lacking lately!  I don’t give a potential the opportunity to make a mistake; I just jump right into my objective (you have to call or text me).

Love Lost: Closing a Chapter

Recently, I closed a major chapter in my life.  I finally realized that the guy I loved and slightly waited for, for some time now, wasn’t going to be by my side as Mr. Jeigh.  I didn’t do the letting go and if he comes back to me, then it is meant to be; routine.  I just decided it was time and walked away.  

I truly believe that all the relationships that followed this relationship were all sabotaged because of my holding on.  With each preliminary round of hopefuls, they didn’t compare to CC or to what I believed I wanted in a relationship.  I have grasped that I have compared every other guy to him and it was truly unfair to these guys and relationships, yes it was all my fault!